Posted tagged ‘fashion’

Purse, Satchel, Carry-all- I want one

December 9, 2010

It's European.

Why can’t dudes use purses?

I mean, I have a messenger bag in which I carry my computer, some papers, and little book that I take notes in it, but because it is large enough to hold a computer, I usually don’t get crap about it. However, if I were to get a smaller version of the same thing, upgrade from a laptop to an iPad, and carry that around, apparently I become a dandy.

Back in the day- the medieval day, mind you- men would carry satchels around with all of their stuff in it- “satchels” that if they were on the clearance rack at Filene’s Basement would garner serious attention from the most the “fairer sex” and from the “fairer sex” only. Why is that?

My pockets can only hold so much! I have important business papers (or something) to carry, and I don’t want a briefcase- I want to have my hands free so that I might encounter whatever life throws at me. Nobody ever called Indiana Jones a fairy. Indiana Jones carries a purse. Indiana Jones also single handedly defeated the Nazis. Therefore it follows that purse-wearing destroys fascism. We could all hope to live in a world free of fascism- where men are free to wear purses without reprisal. I dream of such a world. Won’t you join me?

-Springfield, IL


What's he's wearing over his shoulder? Just the saving grace of free people everywhere.


Bringin’ It Back

September 24, 2009

They say that fashion is cyclical – and they might just be right on that. Recently I’ve been noticing some things coming back into, well, fashion, I guess, that I had hoped were gone forever from the mainstream.

– Plaid. But not cool cowboy, rugged, I-just-killed-dinner-and-plan-to-cook-it-right-here plaid. We’re talking Ugly Plaid. With stupid colors. Like pink/black/yellow/pee soup green. Note to wearers of these Ugly Plaid shirts and shirt-dresses: They look awful. And you look ridiculous.

– Fanny Packs. Not even kidding. I got off the subway the other day in the East Village and saw two – TWO! – people wearing fanny packs. Now, this would be forgivable (almost) if, say, a group of tourists were sporting fanny packs … This was not the case. Two guys in what appeared to be their early 20s, completely independent of each other (as far as I could tell: they were on two different avenues) wearing fanny packs. These aren’t the funky ’80s neon-colored fanny packs either, one was denim, the other was fancy leather. And I never knew fanny packs could have so many pockets and buttons.

– Leather pants. Sure, leather pants have been all the rage for S&M aficionados and biker gangs since their invention, but I thought I was finished watching people walk around on a Tuesday evening in tight leather pants. Apparently, I was wrong.

Maybe I’m out of touch with fashion, as has happened to me many times throughout my young dressing myself career, but I just don’t understand why people are bringing these things back.

Here’s what I’ll do: I’m going to market a leather, pink/yellow/black plaid fanny pack. And wear this fanny pack whilst wearing leather pants and an ugly, pee green/pale yellow plaid shirt.

On second thought, maybe I’ll just stick with jeans and hoodie…