Away Team Fan

The crowds gather. Hotdogs and beers are bought. Everyone’s decked out in team paraphernalia. Excitement builds. The national anthem plays. It begins. The game opens with a hit.

And you’re the only one in your section to cheer, boldly identifying yourself as an Away Team Fan.

photo: hockeytown

I like to think I fall into the “lovable away team fan” zone because, being a Cubs fan my whole life, I’ve developed a well-honed self-deprecating loathing/sense of humor towards my team and can talk at length about our weaknesses, all with a smile on my face. Most Home Team Fans appreciate this and will identify me as a true fan of baseball, and not give me too hard of a time.

This is a delicate situation, though, and can be ruined by any number of things.

1)      A Home Team Fan taking the jokes about your team too far. It’s like how we can make jokes about our girlfriends, but if our friend makes the same or similar joke, he’s liable to get hit.

2)      You encounter the “loud, obnoxious, awful human being away team fan,” and they ruin the whole game watching experience with outlandish cheering, rudeness and overall douchebaggery.  Oftentimes at Yankee Stadium, this fan will be singled out by Home Team Fans as a problem, ridiculed into action, and kicked out of the park by security.

3)      You encounter the away team fan that doesn’t know their head from a baseball and only goes to the games to get drunk and yell about stuff. This can often lead to ridicule from the ENTIRE section and, as I recently had to do, can cause other Away Team Fans in the vicinity to throw said moronic fan to the wolves and side with the Home Team Fans in annoyance towards said moron fan.

4)      The Home Team loses, causing Home Team Fans to get overly drunk and angry at you for your support of the victorious Away Team. Beware drunk, angry Home Team Fans, especially on public transit – they will probably yell at you.

5)      The Home Team wins, causing Home Team Fans to get overly drunk and superior-feeling over you for your support of the defeated Away Team. Beware drunk, superior Home Team Fans, especially on public transit – they will probably yell at you.

6)      The Home Team is also a less than stellar ball club and defeats your team, causing the Home Team Fans to get overly drunk and condescending towards you. Guess what, Mets fans, your team is still terrible. And what happened to the Cubs tonight? I don’t know, probably the same thing that happens to them every year. How can you hate fans of teams that never win?!

It’s a delicate thing, being an Away Team Fan. Lost can happen. It’s best to surround yourself with friends, preferably of the Home Team Fan variety, so they can intervene with the all-important “they’re with me, it’s cool” to quell the anger/superiorness/condescension of Home Team Fans.

The only time it’s truly acceptable to be an Away Team Fan is if you’re a Cubs fan watching a Cubs vs Brewers game at Wrigley North … oh. Sorry. I mean Miller Park. It’s easier and cheaper for Cubs fans to go to games at Miller Park than Wrigley Field, and oftentimes Cubs fans will outnumber Brewers fans, effecting turning Away Team Fans into Home Team Fans. Sorry Milwaukee.

Go Cubs.


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One Comment on “Away Team Fan”

  1. Brad Says:

    I enjoy being a fan of neither but the sport in general, leaving me open to mock any foolishness (looking at you Mets) from either team and hope that my team who’s plays later in the night doesn’t make bigger asses of themselves.

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