When Boxers Fail

I’m not sure if this has happened to you before (if you’re a girl, I’m assuming no), but today while going about my business at work, I’ve run into an issue. The past two times I’ve stood up, when I went to sit back down, I sort of, well, squished, I guess, my jollies. It’s like I somehow forgot how to properly sit down without injuring myself.

I know what you’re thinking: Easy solution, Paul. Just stand up and adjust yourself. Boom! Fixed.

No can do, though. My cube (yeah. that’s slang for “cubicle” for those of you that don’t work in an office [lucky jerks]) is fairly public and people are constantly walking around near me – I certainly can’t just stand up and adjust my junk.

Another easy solution: Get up and go to the bathroom. Problem solved.

Again, you’d be right. BUT I’m waiting for some food to be delivered and the delivery guy is calling my work phone, so that’s out.

What’s my solution? Sit here, move as little as possible, and hope to hell my damn chinese food gets here in the next two minutes.

NY,NY

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