the man with the third eye awards the nobel peace prize

Congratulations, Mr. President on winning your first Nobel Peace Prize. You must be feeling elated and satisfied at the notion that you have won the world’s most renowned prize for promoting peace over so many qualified candidates.

Your tireless work in the field of…well, you know, promoting peace, has been an inspiration millions. Just this year alone, you have…promoted peace…talked about peace…and worked toward peace, and anyone who’s anyone knows that the peace prize is given to those who promote peace and not to those who don’t. So based on that criteria, it’s obvious that you would win this prize. 

Your major accomplishment reminds me of another great American hero- LeBron James. Mr. James has astounded many with his acrobatic and agile basketballing so much so that people turn to him on questions of racial relations and poverty. For a man who had signed a $90 million dollar contract before he turned 21, he is definitely the man to speak to on issues of racial relations and poverty. Yet I digress- the main comparison that comes to mind sends us all the way back to the 2002-2003 Ohio High School Athletic Association boys’ basketball season when Mr. James was named “The Chosen One” by Sports Illustrated magazine. Even before he made one astounding play as a professional athlete to astonish basketball fans from ages 2 to 102, Mr. James was dubbed “The Chosen One”.

I give credit to the editors of Sports Illustrated magazine for making such a prescient headline, as I commend the Norwegian Nobel Committee for predicting your peacemaking skills. After all, there are plenty of individuals out there deserving of this award, but if the this awarding is as prophetic as a sports magazine, then I guess we will see peace in the Middle East.

-Springfield, IL

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