Things That Could Have Been Avoided

For years now I’ve been telling my friends and family someday I’m going to have a guard lion or tiger or bear that will be sweet and domesticated for me, but deadly to unwanted intruders.

I realized, though, that having a pet bear to roll around and wrestle with was a silly pipe dream that would never really happen – largely because the bear would kill me.

It’s the same reason my mom wouldn’t let me get a pet boa constrictor when I was a kid. “The snake doesn’t know you’re not food,” she would say. And, sure, she was right. The snake (when fully grown) would likely view sleeping-me as just another helpless victim, crush me, and ingest me whole, as giant boas are wont to do.

A pet bear would also likely see me as something to attack, no matter how much I loved it and let it roam free throughout my house. The pet bear would probably be even more likely to attack me if I kept it stuck in a cage.

This woman, rest her soul, seemed not to think through the potential repercussions of actually having a pet bear. Or lion. Or tiger. Read about it here.

<shakes head> SERIOUSLY?! Killed by pet bear? No kidding. Here’s how this could have been avoided: DON’T GET A BEAR FOR A PET.

NY,NY

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