Bringin’ It Back

They say that fashion is cyclical – and they might just be right on that. Recently I’ve been noticing some things coming back into, well, fashion, I guess, that I had hoped were gone forever from the mainstream.

– Plaid. But not cool cowboy, rugged, I-just-killed-dinner-and-plan-to-cook-it-right-here plaid. We’re talking Ugly Plaid. With stupid colors. Like pink/black/yellow/pee soup green. Note to wearers of these Ugly Plaid shirts and shirt-dresses: They look awful. And you look ridiculous.

– Fanny Packs. Not even kidding. I got off the subway the other day in the East Village and saw two – TWO! – people wearing fanny packs. Now, this would be forgivable (almost) if, say, a group of tourists were sporting fanny packs … This was not the case. Two guys in what appeared to be their early 20s, completely independent of each other (as far as I could tell: they were on two different avenues) wearing fanny packs. These aren’t the funky ’80s neon-colored fanny packs either, one was denim, the other was fancy leather. And I never knew fanny packs could have so many pockets and buttons.

– Leather pants. Sure, leather pants have been all the rage for S&M aficionados and biker gangs since their invention, but I thought I was finished watching people walk around on a Tuesday evening in tight leather pants. Apparently, I was wrong.

Maybe I’m out of touch with fashion, as has happened to me many times throughout my young dressing myself career, but I just don’t understand why people are bringing these things back.

Here’s what I’ll do: I’m going to market a leather, pink/yellow/black plaid fanny pack. And wear this fanny pack whilst wearing leather pants and an ugly, pee green/pale yellow plaid shirt.

On second thought, maybe I’ll just stick with jeans and hoodie…


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